


Homo, Homo, Homo

by Anonymous



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Crack, Don't take it seriously, Everyone is drunk including ourselves, M/M, Poor Washington, crackfic, it's complicated - Freeform, it's shitposting that's it, lyrics, much drama, shitposting, we tried to write a crackfic by only using song lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 19:31:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10997499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The challenge: Quality shitposting only via lyrics. Washington is heartbroken and asks Hamilton for help. Meanwhile, Burr is plotting something far too terrible to name...





	Homo, Homo, Homo

**Author's Note:**

> -BEFORE YOU READ-
> 
> This is pure crack. Just for clearance, they only talk in lyrics, that's why it's such shit.  
> Washington - Hamilton  
> Hamilton - Hamilton  
> Burr - Heathers  
> Jefferson - In The Heights
> 
> This requires knowledge of all three so yeah here you go

-FIRST ACT-

> Alexander was on Washington's doorstep one day in distress and disarray.  
HAM: "Sir, you asked to see me?"  
WASH: "Hamilton, come in. You've created quite a stir, sir."  
HAM: "The Reynolds Pamphlet. It's the only way I can protect my legacy."  
WASH: "I wanna give you a word of warning."  
HAM: "What."  
WASH: "Next to Washington, they all look small."  
HAM: "If you repeat yourself again I'm gonna scream."  
WASH: "Meet me inside!"  
HAM: "How can I say no to this."  
WASH: "I need a favour."  
HAM: "Immigrants, we get the job done!"  
WASH: "Have you met Burr?"  
HAM: "Wait for it."  
WASH: "My husband's doing me wrong, beating me, cheating me, mistreating me, suddenly he's up and gone, I don't have the means to go on."  
HAM: "Just stay alive, that would be enough."

-SECOND ACT-

BURR: "Open the, open the door please, open the doooor"  
WASH: "Incoming!"  
HAM: "Well, if it isn't Aaron Burr, sir!"  
WASH: "Beating me, cheating me, mistreating me! ;("  
BURR: "Can we not fight anymore please?"  
WASH: "You will never be satisfied."  
BURR: "You just have to prove you're not a pussy anymore!"  
HAM: "You must be out of your goddamn mind!"  
WASH: "Talk less..."  
BURR: "You make my balls so blue..."  
WASH: "Go, go, go"  
BURR: "Please don't leave me alone..."  
WASH: "You're on your own."  
HAM: "Awesome. Wow."  
BURR: "I can't do this alone..."  
HAM: "Well, I heard, you got a special someone on the siiiide, Burrrrrr."  
BURR: "A hot guy smiled at me without a trace of mockery!"  
HAM: "Is that so?"  
WASH: "But the sun comes up and the world still spins."  
JEFF: "Ayooo, good mornin'! "  
WASH: "Thomas Jefferson's coming home..."  
BURR: "Dang dang dIGGITY DANG DANG!"  
HAM: "You won't be an ocean away, you'll only be a moment away!"  
JEFF: "Noooo, no no noooo, no no no nonono, no nonono, no no no no no no no no nonononono!"  
> Washington is watching from the other side  
WASH: "Teach me how to say goodbye..."  
HAM: "Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the president..."  
JEFF: "You ain't got no skills!"  
BURR: "Why when you see boys fight, does it look so horrible, yet feel so right?"  
HAM: "Careful how you proceed, good man, intemperate indeed, good man..."  
WASH: "What comes next?"  
JEFF: "Hey little homie, don't get so upset."  
WASH: "You have torn it all apart."  
BURR: "Homo, Homo, Homo!"  
WASH: "Oh shit..."  
JEFF: "No me diga!"  
HAM: "Enough, enough!"  
WASH: "Hamilton is right!"  
BURR: "No one sees the me inside of me..."  
WASH: "There are moments that the words don't reach, there is suffering too terrible to name..."  
HAM: "If you see him in the street, walking by himself, talking to himself, have pity."  
JEFF: "Truly, madly, deeply, let's get freaky!"  
BURR: "That works for me!"  
JEFF: "Wow, now that you mention that sexual tension is easy to see!"  
HAM: "These guys should go!"  
WASH: "Leave us alone!"  
JEFF: "Come with me!"  
BURR: "I was meant to be yours!"

-THIRD ACT-

JEFF: "Everything is easier / When you're home / The street's a little kinder when you're home / Can't you see that the day seems clearer now that you are here, or is it me? / Maybe it's just me / We gotta go, I wanna show you all I know / The sun is setting and the light is getting low"  
BURR: "They're keeping you away from me. And so I built a bomb!"  
JEFF: "You are so cute."  
WASH: "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory"  
HAM: "I catch a glimpse of the other side..."

BURR: "I am damaged... far too damaged..."


End file.
